Thursday the 15th : Mortal , the review

Night hours the time you just have got home from your work is the most peaceful moment in a day you can ever ask. You feel relax as if the world just been taken off from your stiff shoulder. Nothing on earth shall be your worryness. The world is turning before your eyes in a very lazy slowly motion. Seconds you about to sleep is the best time your brain receiving every incoming message, whether it comes from telly, radio, or the voice of your younger sister.

"You look so high and dry, brother. Nothing more than weariness I do very hope"

"Nah, exhaustion I tell you in fact is all the matter. Die now I shall, and in peace I'll rest" the brother replied frankly.

"Do you remember Susno? Our junior at our nature club back days at senior high?"

"Sounds like a pretty popular certain someone. Even so, I'm afraid that's all that I manage  to recall. Too many years lies between us I guess. What about this Susno guy to begin with?" not less frankly.

"Actually, he was my junior as well in medical faculty. He's supposed to make his Hippocratic Oath this weekend and be a doctor. His parents came to town across the island to attend and celebrate the oath. He has two tiny cutie baby. The younger one was born only two months ago."

"Good Lord, how did he die?"  couldn't be more frankly than that.

"Couple nights ago, the baby woke up crying at 2. He stayed awake all night long since pacifying. His wife found him lying rigid in the morning"

--
i rate 7,5 out of 10

Wednesday the 14th: Scholar, the review

Education is arguably the certain fastest way to change your luck and surely the best you can bet for a better future, unless you are extremely good looking the perverted indian producer looking for their forthcoming  kuntilanak's bra something movie. That must be what the older people think for their children, event though sometime the children just don't quite understand nor agree and prefer to get chance in the movie even as the ugly midget zombie. For the biggest shame, the nation doesn't seem eager to see it as a big picture that it's future depends on the education.

Another day in a very small office run by a band of young men. The office was established in order to lead the newly graduates of university into their desired career. In the process, the service  is including to get the candidates for company's scholarship. Especially some major companies. Long story short, scholarship should be the bridge for a common poor family in this country to jump accross the river of tears to the other side.

"Sir, the faculty's student department doesn't know what to do with supposed to be granted scholarship students. So she disposes them to us. What is your order, Sir?"  young lady administrator reports to her supervisor.

"Blimey, that's supposed to be their job, is it not? Given they are not knowing about that, What the heaven are they doing all this while for Mbah Priuk's sake?!"  

Five minute later, a fancy student girl with latest blackberry on her hand is coming in rushly. "I need a stamp for this scholarship's document. I'll pay double for it."

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Tuesday the 13th : Word's Birth, the review

People are doing meeting oftenly at their office. So often so many of them have anything else to do but meeting and meeting again. Well, of course on their spare and off times they can always errr, arrange another meeting.  On some dictionary they co-equal the word "meeting" with the word 'boredom' . Thus, meeting is underrated.

Stubbornly, a group of men , some says they are idealists yet immature inspite of their age, hold another meeting on their new unfinished office. They always seem to have things to talk about. Someone who is older than anyone eles seems very enjoying the discussion. He is actually a fellow contractor and supposed to design the forthcoming skyscraper project.

"I had been here and there, working for a lot of major contractors. And here I am now. I threw wealth and establishment away. No body think about our country. What will happen to our children is wont even near a prosperity. Every part of our nation is jerk, except whom is not"

The others are listening excitedly.

"Say there's a government project from tax fund. First the project leader himself turns out a jerk, and takes at least 25 percents. Then, the contractor is no other and takes at least 15 to 20 %. That's excluding the profit. The project are indeed running. But of course away below expectation. What will you get when you buy house half cheaper than it should. You report that to the police and you find that the police is jerk too, he already got 10 % cut. You're depressed and see your kiai. Ah, they got the money from political party as well. Hence, jerk. It's a gayus game everywhere". He stops for while and drinks his water.

A young man is curiously looking around at his fellows. They still look so serious. He whispers to his closest friend on his left afterward, " Apparently we officially have gayus already on our dictionary".

Monday the 12th: Relativity, the review

That old new office is being renovated still. There's a room though, which is almost perfectly done, along with a brand new air conditioner. When you are leaving in tropical island, in the middle of global warming , season uncertainty and the father of Sheila's daughter, air conditioner would be very handy, especially when you are a sex machine ready to explode at anytime.  In the one and only cool room, a group of men are having a serious discussion about their new office future , which is a heritage, former lime factory at colonial age. 

"Is it just me? or everyone here feels stiflingly hot?" moan the fatter man.

"I can smell a barbeque already"

"Yes it's so hot, so you can fry an egg on the floor"

"Of course, your tiny winny bitty lil' deflated eggs!"

"I thought they wrongly put the stove up there instead of a should be air conditioner"

"Somebody better get an air conditioner expert here, or else we'll melt like his snots" pointing a silent innocent young man.

"I think we should have some break of rest"  the young man replies reflexively. And out they go.

They're back in after quarter an hour relief facedly. "Wew, turns out that the air conditioner is so god damn cool. Great to be back  here", "Closest to heaven i ever be" , "We have to arrange a new religion to worship air conditioner."

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Sunday the 11th : Savory, the review

Easy-peasy-lemonsqueezy like Sunday morning. The greatest perk of living in a Sunday is you can sleep and wake and sleep and nap, and of course not to forget, to sleep, whenever u feel like.  Precisely like what the heavenly rasta old man ( read it 'man' please, note 'men') with dreadlocks said in his sluggish song. You can watch every telly show and falling asleep in the process. What is on earth could be more soothing than that?

How very ever, ancient wishdom alwayst tells us, that every sensous delight comes with it's price. There's no such free complimentary pleasure. Not as long as the sea is embracing the the coast and the celebrities are divorcing still. When the dusk comes to haunt you, it's a typical Sunday lazy dizzy hangover for your service. Too much untidy naps, block the blood supplies to your tiny busy neurons. To make it even worse, the thought that a full long and winding weekdays of work waiting ahead you with their subtile smile. And just like that aren't awful enough, the young man is starving very badly. He has just reminded by his belly that he hasn't got a meal all day long.

He drags himself into the kitchen and find nothing to eat, and neither to cook. Not even an egg, he used to fry emergencily. Slight of relief when he finds there's still half plate of rice. He adds last drops from an old bottle of sauce, or something seems like that at least.And that's all and the young man dines voraciously. That is ultimate delicacy he ever felt. Last time he can recall that he ever sup as humble and as tasteful at the same time, is the days he was in the wild. 

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Saturday the 10th : Hydro, the review

A house is a place you can rest your body and soul at. A place you should get your ultimate safety and comfort. As that being spoken, you won't have to go to some recreation places on your duty free, just for the sake of refreshing. Your own home should do. That's what exactly that single young man do during his weekend, drifting in front of his big flat telly. 

Simple clue knowing that you're enjoying your life is when you feel like time is flying before your very eyes. You think that you just woke up and set your telly on and slugging around a couple seconds ago, and suddenly the night is coming swallows the light. And out of no where you have a hangover just like u have just drunk a drum of whine.The rain is falling but the cozzyness remains still, even better in matter of fact.  It's a common knowledge that in a rainy night, everyone sleeps even tighter, after trying to produce yet another baby vigorously.

"The water is not coming up. We are doomed!", suddenly the father's voice strikes like a million thunders.

"What is that supposed to mean?" the young man is not even sure with his own question.

"Apparently the water pump failed to start. That is our only resource. Means that we have no water at all, to wash, bath, flush, dish, we cannot even get our ablution for night prayer. And i am sorry to say that there's nothing we can do in a heavy rain."

And the cozzyness turns into solicitudes within a second

-- 

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Friday the 9th : Bowed, the review

They aren't many answers when you are asked what a band of men do in a square green turf. They are either playing ball or talking about ball news of their favourite ball team. You can add sharing pervert jokes as they do that wherever whenever. And that exactly what happens after an hour of sweat-shedding, body tormenting ball game.

" That was a pure sex, was it not?"

"Like you even ever did it"

"What news of your team?" chuckle an older man, mocking.

A day before , the younger man's favourite team, which is arguably most beloved and hated at the same time all over the world, was defeated and eliminated from the biggest annual tourney.

"I dont believe there's anyone in this universe have not heard the massive news yet" the younger man calmy replies.

"What is that?" the older man playing dumb but can not hide his insulting mimic.

"My favourite team was shockingly at losing side. As anyone concerns , i shouldn't happy for that. Even so, you seem accordingly very happy. Therefore, for the time being, i will be happy for you, my friend", the young man fooly smile away. The older man losses his words puzzled-facely.

---

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Thursday the 8th : Earth's Child, The Review

Supervising an all day long interview session could easily sounds so boring. And that's not fully wrong, Especially when you've been doing it two days and counting still. But all the jobs are boring in the end, are they not?  When you get an overload you'll complain, and you have even more time to complain when the case is underload, not to say have actually nothing to do. To seek perks of your being, looking up the bright side behind the scene, is always helping. Having free lunch and conversation together with bunch of psychologists is not something you can get everyday. Of course we are not talking about the soy salad seller auntie in the psychological faculty  canteen.

Psychologist used to be a very good listener. They're trained and taught to be one. Then again, even a psychologist will back to her origin at the lunch table. 

"My son is not getting better. His fever seems to last forever."  sigh one of them, a young and sad mother.

"Gave him antibiotics already?", young man who wouldnt pass the chance to care and help.

"Yes."

"Just begun this morning?"

"Nah, gave him since the day before."

"Oh, he should be fine and his fever should subside by now."

"Well it doesn't!" higher pitch of tone and along with some stresses as well, "What? Must be your own experience with your own child, yes?" sharply strike.

That's funny for some reasons. The obvious one is since people round the table are laughing. Second is apparently they're laughing because the young man is pretty known never even close with any kind of woman, let alone dating, and nevermind marriage with children. Some says he is sexually deviated and often doing it with his office's laser jet printer.

Nevertheless, before the laughter flattening, the naive young man answer in his regular innocent tone,

"Well madam, I thought it's my child too, is he not?"

A megaton atomic laughter just exploded. " Good onee!" "Get outta hereee!!" "Sublime revenge!!" "Very very well young man!!" the crowd is saluting. Even the sad mommy psichologist drown into tears of laugh. Everybody thinks that is joke of the day. 

The young man was not joking. Flat smile decorates his average face, "Is he not?",  and no one hear he sizzles.

---

i rate 7,5 out of 10 

Wednesday the 7th : Fitter Happier, The Review

Job interview is meant to reveal one's character, especially his personal quality. The coorporation as the employer would like to have it's best candidates. In this case, best candidate is not the smartest nor the brightest. Best candidate means the fittest. And every each of  company has their own qualification and specification to get the man whom supposed to get the job done. Just like every Liz Taylor has her own type of males. Wew, she has?

And in this leading national energy company campus recruitment, the senior psychologist would like to measure the commitment of the candidates with particular question. The hired candidates are supposed to be placed in the remote area, far far away from the sparkling big city night. The question is about the relationship terms the candidate has with his/her boy/girlfriend. What if they are issued in a place that even their heavenly grandma never heard. Some place with repeated words like Fak-fak or Toli-toli, GPS bless them.

It's lunch break, when all  interviewers take their lunch and exchange their interview sessions story. Without pressing the button or raising her hand like we used to see in  TV quiz show, a young and tall psichologist moans elegantly with a sweet sigh 

"Oh, those bunch of schoolboy engineers, do they all never even go dating a girl, for God's sake ?! "

The question is for all, but the staring is right to a young man whom is happened to be the consultant manager. He was turning his head left and right before he realizes that nobody will answer the supposed to be rhetorical question. And as every naive young man in every corner of universe that thinks he's a gentlemant enough for every graceful lady,  he feels that he is interviewed and must answer the question. And indeed he answers it as spontaneously as a good interviewee should be.

"Well, i guess because they were studying hard and wished to be graduated as soon as their parents, lectures, neighbors, grandad could hope, they weren't distracted by such bother"

"Really?" the young man hasn't even got to 'ther' yet, when a thundering sharp voice strikes again.

"So were you, were you not?" , and again.

Nailed in the young man's head. He is never popular among girls, not to say nerd. Even so, he was not clever enough to be graduated as soon as any living Mars creature could wish and hiss. But as thin as the line between bravery and idiocy, the difference between cowardy and ingenuity is limit close to zero.  And spontaneity remains.

"He he"

Priceless.

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Tuesday the 6th : Conceded, The Review

You can find almost everything in a game where band of men hustling, chasing, scrambling, fighting for a ball in the green turf. Hence, most popular game in the world, not to say it's a lifestyle. There's no day without ball game.  Actually, neither night. As a group of boys were playing it pretty late that night. For the lifestyle sake, they played under the roof in a small caged rented artificial field. But why didn't they? It's less tiring, less people needed, more chance to get the ball, and the most important thing, it's not free. Thanks to the lifestyle, they could hardly find an acre of grass that is free in this land.

The boy was standing firmly under the horizontal bar, between the two parallel posts. His job was simple. He had to deny every chance the ball going in between  the bar and the posts with every part of his body in every possible way.  On his earlier days back years, he was the man who were best doing the otherwise, to put the ball between the posts. The finest moment for a man in a game. The moment he earned the spotlight. The moment of orgasm every man would kill for. That was until he decided to be the saviour rather than finisher. He's naturally like to save better than to kill. The fact was,  everyone was reluctant to guard the posts. You cannot blame them to be fair, since practically you're a shoting target when you're guarding the posts. People barely mind the aim and prefer the power. And you have to take it., sometime with your head or your manly  dirty organ. Long story short, instead of waiting for a spotlight, you're literally living dangerously, trying to stand the pain and fear all through the game. It's not a dirty job though. For the consolation, he always convinces himself that God wouldn't give him a pair of hand if he didn't take the job, and for the change He would give him a pair of chicken wing so he could do chicken dance.

He had been doing it very well, and his team won like all the time. He felt like he could take everything thrown at him. He didn't remember the last time he failed to keep the ball out of his sacred nest from a starting kick. He was always focus and alerted. So was that night. His team was leading by miles. He began to look down the opposition. His heart was beating so slow. The excitement and the tense was gone with the wind. Especially, when his opposition who would take the starting kick had his footwear ripped. 

The kicker would kick it bare footly. The boy smiled in jeer. In a split second the smile broke and the jaw dropped, as the  canonball suddenly nested on the top corner. Not for long he ran accross vigorously to update the scoreboard, like a kid just have found the toy he'd been looking for so long.

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Monday the 5th : Agents of Joy, The Review

Hospital is the last place you want to go to when you badly need some encouragement. But of course, there's no one going to the bank to date a prostitute, well, unless there is. And it was not a special evening, as the sun grew dim and the gloom went strong. Not to mention that the light on the so-called VVIP room seemed so shy to shine. The sick grandpa was sleeping soundly. His relatives was mutely sitting on chairs and bed around him. No one said a word as they might kill someone with little hisses from their poisonous breaths. It was a dead silent dusk. Not even creaks of crickets. There had to be one word to capture the momment. It's sad. Hospital should be hospitable as it's name, instead of horrible.

However, there's part of your body working so well in a melancholic silence. Unfortunately though, It's your brain who would attack you with their best cutthroat question. Why is this, why is that. How bliss can be bad. A miss make me mad. Taking piss on my pad. And so was that grandson's brain. There was nothing he could do other than watching his beloved grandpa sleeping with a brainstorm. Thought that struggled hard to drag him into an abyss of despair and despondency. 

Miracle always happens in critical second for believers. As a dreamer, the grandson looks for miracle every second he sleeps and he wakes. He finds it like everyday. And that frustated evening was not an exception. A silver line of memory struck his brain heavily and brought him back into an hour earlier. He  was walking in the parking lot as he saw a small pickup, one that they used to carry vegetables to the market, passed him by. It was fully loaded with eldery, so full so they couldn't even move any part of their body, let alone to sit. A way to go to hospital Albert Einstein could never even thought of. Nevermind  what were they doing in hospital. It's no better than Nazi's  death train. Yet they were chating, chuckling about whatever happily. The grandson was staring dumbfoundedly for seconds before he found his smile on the gloomy room and whispering.

'how cannot they be agents of joy?'

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Sunday the 4th : Peaceful Hustle , The Review

It is a very quiet and peaceful pavilion down the corner of a very big state hospital. The sun is warmly shining pretty lazy on his own day. VIP class is everything you could ask from a hospital when you're enjoying your duty free due to a mysterious illness a local carpenter couldn't guess. Especially when you have your health insurance fully financially back you up. Nevertheless, you are sick and you are at the hospital. Nothing to brag about that, and everyone would prefer the otherwise.

A grandpa is lying weakly and resignedly on the bed as he is the sick patient which is in matter of fact he is. No one can tell whether he's sleeping or just closing his eyes due the fact that the doctor and nurse told him to have lot of rest. The atmosphere of the cozzy room is without a doubt so silent and sad. However, that's not for long until in a quite sudden a little three years young grandson breaks through the door and makes some noise, running around the room, going out, rolling on the grass just outside the room just like a newly charged rabbit on the battery commercial.

"c'mere, son!" apparently he is not sleeping unless he sleeps sounds, and sounds like people speak.

"go greet your grandpa!"several whispering voice getting the happy feet near to the grandpa side.

he steps close, grabs the old wrinkles hand and puts it on his forehead.

"okay, now, go get the puss" the grandpa keeps his blossom smile after couple seconds clucthed the tiny hand.

the rabbit runs otherwise straight away and scream innocently as if he doesn't have to go to the office and does some boring job in a tormenting Monday, a day after, which is matter of fact he doesn't.

"hussshhhhhh!!" once again a big whispering choir of serious faced evil family bossing

"nahh, nahh, let him be"

and the smile remains.

 

--

i rate 7,5 out of 10

Alice in Wonderland , The Review

This can be very short.  Burton+Depp=Flawless. Period, done, end,finish, nuff  said, fait, getan, fin, terminado, rampung, entek. I dont have to testify how this movie portrayed a dream as best as we could ask, so i thought i was having a chill dream for hundred minutes instead of watching movie in a rather cold theater.  And watching this movie alone from a corner isolated from the others, only with a box of popcorn and a bottle of apple tea simply making it more personal, intimate, and sacred. Nah, it wasn't like what you think, no pervert material on this movie, not even a few, unless u have old memory about how sexy Anne Hathaway's breast is (sorry to say that in this movie Anne seemed to be breastless) , or you have a sexual obsession with a talking pussy. So no, you get it wrong if you think i was masturbating there down the corner. I had not even to struggle back againts the time to find my best smile and my big relief honest hard childhood laughter. Thing i had never get from a movie. Not since another Burton-Depp's Charlie and Chocolate Factory.

I also don't need to tell that the casting is very strong. Helena Bonham Carter, another Burton's favourite, is surely one of Hollywood's most underrated actresses. She's pretty consistent with her wacko cast since her perfect performance in Fight Club a decade ago. And for her Red Queen cast in this movie, she managed to maintain her acting on the highest level. Mia? nothing wrong with her. She's fitter to be called Alice than Mia. Shadow on her eyes and her british accent succeeded to make her charming. To  be honest i didn't enjoy the animation version of Alice in Wonderland broadcasted by national channel back days when i was a kid, and Mia did make me falling in love to Alice. Adventurous girl who hates corset, stocking and believes as many as six impossible things before breakfast. Ah not to forget, she prefer wandering abroad to marrying a lord. The other highlight was not Anne Hathaway. It's the voice of absoleum, the blue catterpilar. The voice that could kill is Severus Snape's (Alan Rickman), heavy low and beautiful at the same time, and i'm not talking about Frank Sinatra. Johnny? Well, what can I say? The Burton's first man was at his usual outstanding shape. I dont even think Jim Carrey could do Mad Hatter better than him. And when Jim couldn't, means nobody could. And that's including Tukul too.

The Burton's dense and consistent idealism is another thing  I dont have  to mention here.  He's the god of fairy tale. We'd better keep him under the roof anywhere he goes, so he cannot rise to heaven and so he can makes another movie for us. Like i said, the motion picture, the color, setting, plot is very beautiful and there's no pervert content at all, let alone sex scene. Well, some scene involved violence indeed. But so did Tom & Jerry. I say, its watchable for everyone, including kids. What about the story? What about it?  It's a perfect classic fairy tale story. No more or less. You may say it's so predictable. So what? Whadaya expect from a fairy tale? You can predict the end easily like piece of cake yet you're gonna like it like piece of cake as well.  Because the main issue is imaginary world, this movie can be easily compared with Pandora in James Cameron's splendid Golden Globe Winner 'Avatar'. They are both beautiful world we could only dream of. But that's all. In almost all other aspects, Alice simply outclass Jake Sully and co. The creatures and characters are so impressive as well. The Tweedles, Malynkum, McTwisp, Bandersnatch, Jabberwocky, Frabjous Day wew, they're perfectly pictured. I even love the way it sounds. For me it's an Oscar winner  picture already. A Masterpiece.

The last thing that i dont actually need to confess is that the script is brilliant. The dialog is smart and hillarious, fit with the victorian era settting. Yet they're very beautiful to hear as well. It's like enjoying Shakespeare's script of play. Seemed like everybody have to say everything unusually and sarchastically. 'Why is it you're always too small or too tall?' 'Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?' 'You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness.' Superb. goodbye pragmatism! And for the climax, the futterwhacken dance is mindblowing! So if you think you can dance, you must watch Hatter's futterwhacken.

Hence, This can be very short.  Burton+Depp=Flawless.Period, done, end,finish, nuff  said, fait, getan, fin, terminado, rampung, entek.

i rate 16,5 of 10 ( anyone miss the movie, will be burnt in hell )

Coogan's Bluff, the review

 Wew, when this movie was made, my grandpa were still peeing on his pant *gee,hope you're not a blogger grandpa, and New York's still nothing but trees and monkeys, and you?! you're still only a grain of protein somewhere. Don't blame me, blame Cinemax for their oldschool, not to say ancient, collection. Mr Wild Wild West, Clint Eastwood (Coogan), is the center of the movie. I could even hardly recognize Clint if it's not because his sexy mole on his upper lips. I dont believe he looked so young, err like 42 years a go?!  . Long, tall and just as sturdy as Lorenzo Lamas. Err, of course Lorenso Lamas at his sturdy years back days, not now. And without his tawdry long hair too. Being clueless about the other casts, I'm pretty sure Clint is the only survivor from this movie.

Actually, there's nothing special if we're talking about the story, plot or set. It's a boring American dream of an invicible hotshot. He has six packed belly, two big packed rectangle breast, firm jaw, strong angled cheekbones, and of course yummy-butt. Not to mention his sweet mole that would complete a dream boy Paris Hilton likes to sleep with every night and day. I mean sleep after make some candid porn movie as usual. He's bad too. And bad is good for a horny blonde. And yes, just like every bad boy, he's a flamboyant womanizer. And Coogan Cassanova practically snogged every pretty girl in this movie. That's all folks, what one and half hour of picture told me.

However, inspite of anything, there's something about this movie. I believe the magic is due to the polaroid coloring technique.  I dont think they did it intentionally. It's just the mark from the past, and it's happened to be very vintage and beautiful. Technically this movie is perfect in my opinion, considering it made in 1968, yet it still very enjoyable until now and then. And i found a very great scene, when a repeat offender, grabbed and squeezed his sexy parole officer's boobs over and over again pretending he's checking her heartbeat, and she didnt seem to be bothered. That before Coogan, who saw that happened before his eyes,  turned on and kick his ass while moaning *not in this movie but i'm sure he was moaning 'I'm the main character here, yet i dont have such priviledge to squeze anyone's boobs, you ass hole'. Why i didnt see it as obscenity, that's very classic instead. I love that scene though i was little bit stimulated.

One thing i've to say here, this movie kind of remind me of local movie 'Kabayan Pergi Ke Kota' . And i noticed that a country sherrif's assistant, can be very funny and cool at the same time. Doesnt have to be as naive and stupid as Kabayan. Just because you want to be funny, doesn't mean u've to act stupidities. Just because you're stupid, doesn't mean you're funny. Just because you have Tukul Arwana's face, doesn't mean you're good looking. Just because you're wasting time reading here, doesn't mean you're getting smarter.

my rating: 7,5 of 10 (i can watch it again, and fast forward it straight away to boobs squeezing scene, legend!! err i'll change my messenger status into 'boobs squeezing', err i think thats a good name for my first incoming baby as well : 'boobs squeezing raharjo')

 

Valkyrie, the review

I'm not even sure whether i spelled it correctly. Oh well, where to start? Tom Cruise (Colonel Seabregabreg or something sounds like that) on the left, he lost his right hand and couple fingers of the left one, and of course his left eye. But don't worry girls, he's even hotter with his pirate's eye-cover and of course the Nazis Officer Suit. If this is not based on a true story and not a movie about Nazi, err i dont think i need to explain that its German's Nazi i'm talking about, not Nazi Goreng Kambing, i'll say that this is one of the best Tom's performance. Unfortunately it is a true story and it's about Nazi, pitty Tommy. You're bright alright, fairly sturdy, smart looking, bold-jawed, icey cool, got three balls (rumor has it ) but you're simply not a  German, let alone Nazi. I'll bet all my money, that's about 2 grands errr Indonesian Rupiahs,  that man Adolf with Charlie Chaplin's mustache would slaughter you by anything hard nearest, two and half seconds after you two come across each other.

The saddest fact is, this movie fails in its 3rd seconds right on the first scene, first sentence. That's when suddenly Seabregabreg doesn't speak German anymore. He speaks American-English with american accent & gesture just like Colonel Sanders. Oh well, perhaps he took his english class very well back days in his senior high, but why on earth spoke english to all his other facist compatriots. And later i found out all the nazis speak english just like in Lousianna. An absolut total utter mess. The set and costume is great, and they ruined it due to linguistic reason.

This movie is obviously not for you whom looking for laughter. There's no chance you'll laugh at all along the nearly two hours duration. Except u like a sarchastic joke like cynical nazi officer made their legendary hail for their fuhrer with his stumped hand. I, myself, was almost choking on my own tongue on that scene. Neither for you whom looking for a classical war movie. There's no battle scene at all except an 3 second air bombing, which  was dull and pathetically executed, on the start of the movie. This movie is a dead drama, not to say documentary. The characters were dead. As for the story,  the movie is so unlucky. Because i watched 40 ways to kill Hitler not so long before at National Geographic, and they did it zillion times better than the movie storyward.

My summary will be, dont watch this movie unless u're kind of people who'd get an orgasm watching Tom Cruise alone. This movie surely a theater killer.

rating : 4,5 of 10 (i wont watch it again even if Tom Cruise himself asking me to, personally) 

From Paris With Love , the review ( Spoiler Warning! ) | 2,5 minutes reading

If i have to sum this one and half hours movie up in a sentence , that would be 'Johnie saves the day'. Yes, only one John instead of two, the older one. I watched this movie with expectation that the french, they got good taste in making action movies, especially Luc Besson's, regarding his previous works such as Taxi, Yamakasi, Transporter. But well, it turned to be a lot less than what i expected. Too many odd, duping and annoying scenes a la holywood. And worse, they're on the opening and the climax. Come on, after talking about Fisher 's attack to Sparsky while anxiously staring at the chess board in front of which he seems to spend the last 40 years of his life, he's amazed of being checkmated like he'd never saw it coming. That's an utter classic rubbish. That's an ambassador too we're talking about. They must be forgot to give him some brain damage test, if the dumbass ever has one.

The climax, oh good lord, too cheesy, especially for supposed to be an action movie. If you are a suicide bomber, you dont want to talk any kind of crap with anyone, let alone the sexy guy you shooted the day before. Just blow yourself and get your heaven along with a jaw dropping sad ending movie. No chit chat, no tears, no overdramatizing for soap opera maniac. Don't you ever watch those bunch of ugly holywoond climax scenes? I tell you this, if you're a villain in an action movie and you have the good guy under your mercy, finish him immediately , end the movie and get your early shower. Dont either say or listen a word, or else you'll end up in the losing side. Thats a trivial tip from me, and that's free.

Okay the main course, the story and the action. Well, actually story's hardly an issue in an action movie. As for this movie, the story is far from special. Supposed to be surprising and little bit twisted at the end, but nah, i wasn't surprised at all. And nothing fascinating about the plot. You can simply watch this movie empty-headed,open-mouthed, and runny-nosed. And how about the action? I could hardly see the difference with playing virtual cop in my old pc."Dont shoot, aarrgghh". As the hero, u'll have nothing to worry about, since all the villains are clumpsy, noisy, never get any cover for gunshot, low paid just to be dead, and swear their shot will never hit you. You can beat and kill them all while updating your facebook status on the process. Some scenes earn my "oh" but none of them earn my "wow".

In the other side, the picture, screenplay, score, cinematography, technically they are fine, not boring, enjoyable. If there's any highlight from this movie is Frank Sinatara's played on the Wax's car during the romp. And last but most, John Travolta still has it. He enlights the movie on his own. His western spastic jokes are byting. Hence, Johnie saves the day. At the very end this movie is watchable yet skippable. There goes my fifteen grands.

i rate 6 of 10 (that's if someone treat me the ticket)